What I want my daughters to know from the ever eloquent "red-headed hostess"

http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/most-popular/my-last-message/

 It was my last day and my last chance, and I found myself just bursting to say this to them.  ”There is one thing that I really want to make as clear as possible.  One thing that the longer I live, the more I realize.  That thing is that the key to happiness really, really is keeping the commandments.”  And they listened.  They all listened.  There is something about a final message that puts an exclamation point on something before the words come out of your mouth.

“I have learned”, I told them, “that Heavenly Father really does have great things in store for us, and he knows how we can qualify for them, so he gives us commandments and standards to help us get them.  The other day I was emailing back and forth with a former student of mine named Ashley who just got engaged.  She is a fantastic woman.  She went to BYU, served a mission and is now a publicist for Deseret Book (you can read her blog here:  between west and main).  She was expressing to me in her email how so very happy she is.  She has found a great guy and together they have a very promising future.  She really is living the dream.  In her email she said that she just wanted to pinch herself to make sure it was all real.  ’Pinch away,’ I said.  But this is real and this is the happiness Heavenly Father intended for us all along.

“I am still pinching myself”,

I told my students. “I could not ask to have a better marriage than I have, everyday I feel so lucky, and that is what I want for each of you.  But you need to know that it isn’t because we fell in love  (although we did), THAT is not the reason our marriage is so wonderful.  It is because of all of the choices we made before we ever met, and the choices we are continuing to make now.  We had been striving to qualify for each other before that day in July years ago when our paths finally crossed, and we are still striving now.   Satan wants you to think that our commandments are limiting and make you naive,”  and let me add here that when I said this their heads nodded, THIS is something they hear often, “but that could not be a greater lie.  Christ never sinned, and he is the example of truth and knowledge and wisdom.  The student who can go to high school and walk out clean, and pure and worthy every day is strong and powerful and a true realist.  They are learning how to battle, how to be strong, and how to have self-control.  They aren’t justifying, making excuses or hurting themselves.  If you want to have a lot of issues in your life, Satan knows how to give you those.  But if you want to learn to overcome yourself, your weaknesses and shortcomings, Christ knows how to get you there.   He gives us commandments and standards so we don’t make choices in our life that can really harm us.

“The title of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet is just right, it is how to be strong!   At this stage in your life, you may not understand all of the standards and commandments, and there may be some that you question.  But trust me, it is only because you have not yet had the life experience to see it yet.  The older I become and the more experience I gain, the more relieved I am that I had trusted the standards put before me in my youth.  I now see why they say what they do, but in my immaturity I will be forever grateful that I did not think that I knew better than the clear counsel given to us.  That I was an exception to this or that, or that I could tweak this one to fit my preference.

“You never regret keeping the commandments.

 You never ever will.  Regrets only come when we don’t.  Righteousness really is the key to happiness.  Your life will not be without trials, but they will be much easier to face when you are spiritually strong, and when they are coming as part of mortality’s testing, rather than from our poor choices.

“If you want to be pinching yourself one day, then live like you have been taught.  Work on yourself.  Repent often.  Pray daily and search the scriptures to know as much truth as you can.  You will become stronger and stronger and then THAT is the person you will offer someone else to marry.  THAT is the person who will father or mother your children.  NOTHING has impacted my marriage more than the doctrines and principles that I have studied for years and the commandments that I have tried to keep.  No flower, date, trip, or romantic gesture can even compare to that.  It really is the key to happiness.”

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And I like this one too - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WtzIcz7MOkc